Wow, I was just reading Suzanne's post about having children vs. childlessness. I haven't
yet visited the link which inspired her to write it. It set off a rant in me, unrelated
to Suzanne's actual post but yet related to the subject.
The fact still remains
even in this "modern" society that people who don't have children are thought not to have a life. At the very least
their life is thought not to have the same worth, their interests are less interesting, their obligations less important.
Women, not all, but some, think that because they have children, their life, and obligations are
the most important and nothing else really matters. The fact is it all matters and my life and obligations,
my interests and whatevers are just as important as those of the individual who has children.
Some years ago when I was going through my divorce, it became necessary for me to work two jobs
to pay off debts incurred. (Not his debts, unfortunately they were all mine). I was working full time
at a job that required me to work 3 days per week, but for 13 hours per day. I found a second job that I could work on
my off days, however I had to specify a particular schedule. Because they paid double time, I chose Sunday as
one of my days and Monday as the next, just for ease of "getting it over with".
A coworker of mine commented one day on how lucky I was to have every Monday off. Mind you, her scheduled day
off was Friday. Every Friday! When I threw that back at her, she stated that she absolutely had to have Friday's
off to take her daughter to ballet lessons. Amazingly the tone in her voice was haughty, as if this
were much more important than the fact that I needed a place to live and food to eat. What? You need a whole day off to take your daughter somewhere for one hour?
Hey lady, I'm working my butt off for 8-10 hours on my wonderful Monday off (the implication was that I had a
three day weekend every week) and I'm working efing Sundays too!! I am not having a partaaaay here. What's with you, you idiot?
Sylvia and I have remained friends to this day, I just never could look at her quite the same way after that.
It wasn't the first nor the last time I'd encountered an attitude such as that. Sometimes it was much worse, sometimes just a little snide comment that can be passed over. But all the time, it's insensitive and lacks insight. All the time it is aggravating. All the time, I like to just think from where it came and let it go, but there, in my memory it obviously does stay rearing it's ugly head upon occasion.
